Christmas Notes

 Around Christmas five years ago Vice President Mike Pence asked Trump to put an ornament on his Decomytree.com digital tree. When denied he fell on his knees begging, “But it only takes three seconds! Wah, hahaha, wahhh!”

Trump walked away with a thing of orange juice saying, “But I’m doing my hair man, I’m doing my hair. Don’t you ever interrupt me when I’m doing my hair!”

Pence reportedly waited patiently outside the bathroom door for over an hour until Trump came out with his locks glowing golden orange.

“Now can you do it for me?” Pence asked, a tear drop weighing over a pound pouring out his right eye.

“I was going to tweet, but I’ll do it for you, this once little guy,” Trump said encouragingly as he patted Pence on the head. “Now clean the bathroom while I do this,” Trump added as he sat down in a recliner and wrote.  

Pence finally read the note Trump left, it said; 

“MAGA Baby, but you look like manga, lazy,  a pence, a hundredth of a pound, you ugly hound, prolly jumped over the fence, so get lost, or catch some sense, that’s the cost, Mr dense.”

Tears ran down Pence’s  face like waterfalls.

If you want to get beautiful Christmas letters from family and friends; make your own tree and have your buds like Trump decorate it here: https://decomytree.com/home?hashedId=aEoRWWDJuJ2f

And make sure to come back for more fake news!


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

White for Christmas

  Kamala applies for Canadian citizenship after losing the presidential election, stating, “I’m just a white cow girl now.” It’s said she received this revelation of her whiteness while looking into a mirror. When asked why she ran as a black candidate in the election she stated, “I hadn’t realized my true potential, now as a white cow girl I feel that I can be more of my true and better self.” One reporter asked why she was moving to Canada, and how she discovered her new heritage. She responded by saying: “I can feel that I have a connection with Canada, almost spiritual. Being black just didn’t work, I’m a white cow girl, and I think that comes from my ancestors.” With the winter season she is looking whiter than ever, but with no apparent evidence of her Canadian ancestry skeptics are skeptical.  In response to these skeptics she went on to say: “I grew up in a Canadian white family, sports were big in our house…” she began sobbing before she continued, “And I was the ...
Read more

The Daily Nutcracker

 "The Daily Jester Publication is a blog made for idiots by idiots. Colin Davidson is the original founder/idiot, although you may see pieces written by David Collins, Anonymoose, Frederic Anderson, and or anyone willing to be a guest writer. It is strictly prohibited that anyone should quote this blog as a source for anything at any time. Although it is recommended that you take everything in this blog seriously, it may save your life one day." Colin Davidson. Said the founder of this blog when asked by no one.  In this Christmas special, as this blog was made for Christmas and is very special, we will be looking at the breaking headlines. CNN, Fox, or any other news program is currently ranting about their hate or love for Trump, Babylon Bee is waiting for Trump's promised Canadian slur that the American people were told they would receive on his election. But the average American is eating Cheetos on the couch, as they stare at a TV that hasn't had a break in two m...
Read more

Trump’s Hair Secrets

 Speculation on Trumps hair has existed ever since orange juice became a dye. That’s right, the possibility of orange juice being his choice of dye is staggeringly high. While there are no sources that explicitly say it is orange juice, we can take a couple hints.  1: Trump claims his hair is completely natural, what’s more natural than a freshly squeezed orange? 2: At one point Joe Biden mistook Trump for a child and sniffed his hair, it’s reported he said one word, “Oranges?” 3: The color gives it away…come on, it’s literally orange. 4: He’s slandered by people calling him a “fruit,” everyone has the inner sense his dye is fruit based.  It is reported by some that his hair is orange due to not giving the brown dye (he supposedly uses) time to dry properly. Saying the longer he gives it the more brown it will be. Trump’s hair dressers have come out saying he is very impatient, and will hardly sit still for 30 minutes. The longer he dyes it, the more brown it will be, and...
Read more