Trump’s Hair Secrets

 Speculation on Trumps hair has existed ever since orange juice became a dye. That’s right, the possibility of orange juice being his choice of dye is staggeringly high. While there are no sources that explicitly say it is orange juice, we can take a couple hints. 

1: Trump claims his hair is completely natural, what’s more natural than a freshly squeezed orange?

2: At one point Joe Biden mistook Trump for a child and sniffed his hair, it’s reported he said one word, “Oranges?”

3: The color gives it away…come on, it’s literally orange.

4: He’s slandered by people calling him a “fruit,” everyone has the inner sense his dye is fruit based.

 It is reported by some that his hair is orange due to not giving the brown dye (he supposedly uses) time to dry properly. Saying the longer he gives it the more brown it will be. Trump’s hair dressers have come out saying he is very impatient, and will hardly sit still for 30 minutes. The longer he dyes it, the more brown it will be, and less time the more orange it will be.

Trump’s hair is also very long, and is said to be tough to comb. Trump says he combs his hair the same way every day. 

Here’s how he does it:

He first gets his hair wet, (not specified how, possibly orange juice,) he then let’s it dry on its own for an hour, (in the mean time he reads the news and tweets,) he then combs it back a certain way, and sprays it with an ungodly amount of hair spray.

How he combs his hair is debated, some say he does it like Justin Bieber, combing it forward then back. Trump says he doesn’t really comb it forward. His daughter claims he combs it all towards the top of his scalp, (where there is no hair thanks to a scalp surgery to improve hairline,) then combs some of it back to look like it’s all going back.

The mysteries of Trumps hair still befuddle us, if you have any insights on his hair routine comment below.

-The Daily Jester Publication