White for Christmas
Kamala applies for Canadian citizenship after losing the presidential election, stating, “I’m just a white cow girl now.”
It’s said she received this revelation of her whiteness while looking into a mirror. When asked why she ran as a black candidate in the election she stated, “I hadn’t realized my true potential, now as a white cow girl I feel that I can be more of my true and better self.”
One reporter asked why she was moving to Canada, and how she discovered her new heritage. She responded by saying: “I can feel that I have a connection with Canada, almost spiritual. Being black just didn’t work, I’m a white cow girl, and I think that comes from my ancestors.”
With the winter season she is looking whiter than ever, but with no apparent evidence of her Canadian ancestry skeptics are skeptical.
In response to these skeptics she went on to say: “I grew up in a Canadian white family, sports were big in our house…” she began sobbing before she continued, “And I was the only white girl on our basketball team, I remember they’d yell cracker in the locker rooms. But now I can play hockey in Canada.”
BLM activists are denouncing her as a “white dinosaur cracker,” and claiming that she was never truly black.
Upon the date of publication her Canadian Citizenship was denied. She recently tweeted that after more consideration she realized she is not Canadian. She now claims she was really black all along. BLM has not accepted her, claiming that you cannot become un-white.
Come back for more fake news from the Daily Jester Publication, and comment below.
Wow, this was incredible. So heartbreaking that she relapsed; some people never truly learn :(. I heard now she’s embracing her newly discovered heritage as an Antarctican penguin, but idk for sure.
ReplyDeleteThat’s wild news! It’s also rather disappointing, because I thought I liked Penguins.
DeletePoor Kamala :( I hope someday America will realize its mistake and get the fool Donald out of the white house. Kamala and Biden were our country's future! Shame we've pushed the poor girl so far out of America when all she wanted was the best for us
ReplyDeleteSure, sure, I really do feel full after eating McDonald’s, White Castle used to be so good too. But don’t worry, Harris is still Biden her time. 😉
DeleteYou know what's a shame? We as Americans really couldn't see past all the fog and corruption the clouded our judgement, and we stupidly voted the man who clearly only wanted power to keep his own ego. Soon, he'll be taking away all our freedoms. He might start with taking away small rights, but, like the scream of the butterfly, it will be silent and we'll never hear or see it coming.
ReplyDeletePeople, get to your senses. You could have prevented this by voting for Kamala. You know in your hearts that she's America's only hope. Not the big orange egotistical narcissist that you stupidly voted for. It's articles like this one that make people hate Kamala and all her values. Its people like you that are destroying America. I hope that, when your rights get taken away, you have to suffer and realize just how incredibly dumb it was to vote for a person who didn't care about you at all.
Don't be sheep, people. Don't vote for the person who talks a good game. Vote for the person that truly wants the best for the American people. Take a hint that it's not Trump. Listen, we still have time! When January 6th comes and that dirtface trys to take the office, we'll prevent that. We'll swarm the hype house the way that the dumb rednecks did four years ago. But we'll do it right! We'll get him out of office - burn down the hype house if we have to! Do what we can to save America from the clutches of that bloated orange.
And another thing that I should mention. Kamala is doing her best, you guys. And so is Biden. Remember, they had to undo four years of nonsense policies and stupid decisions made by Trump for four years and four years prior. So, if you think they suck as a president, it might be because the person you view as a savior screwed you over, big time. Did you know that he's wasting so much funding building that wall? Just allow the immigrants in. We have enough space, and clearly enough jobs, given how stupid and lazy Americans are. If they won't take the jobs, give them to someone else! Someone else who wants and deserves them!
In conclusion, America is going downhill, and it's the Republicans that are causing it. WIth their stupid diesel trucks and their stupid decisions in voting. #taketheblueback
-Swarmy Mikensada
Ehhh
DeleteI have absolutely nothing to say about this article, other than that it's funny - I'm just leaving this comment to promote the Misadventure and Mystery series. You should read them. They're almost as funny as this article, and there's a lot more tha just humor to them.
ReplyDeleteThis was clearly written by a man. Any woman would know that voting for Kamala is in her best interest, and only a hive mind white man would vote otherwise. You are clearly a privileged, elitist, white man who knows nothing about the struggles women go through, especially women of color. Our rights are being taken away more and more every day, and you have the nerve to poke fun at the one woman who will guarantee us our rights. How about you get out of this country and move to Canada where sissy white men like you belong.
ReplyDeleteWe are the Borg, you will be assimilated.
DeleteSissy man
DeleteYou all need to calm down and vote for Kamala. Its obviously the right thing to do.
ReplyDeleteI hate you
ReplyDeleteDon't worry I'm sure he hates you as much as Trump hates his supporters
DeleteI hate you too
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteIM NO SISSY AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
DeleteImagine having nothing better to do then hate on a poor minority woman. Don't you think she already feels bad enough that she lost to an fruit 🍑
ReplyDeleteYou mean a fruit🤓
DeleteErm actually 🤓👆
DeleteI want a fanfic between Biden and Kamala. Jester please help me 😭🙏
ReplyDelete