Trump Makes Canada the 51st state.

 Only a few weeks after his election as president Trump announced that all ‘Canadian syrup suckers’ would be removed from the National Hockey League. Stating that the US invented hockey, thus Canadians could no longer play in the US’s league. He also stated in passing that “Unless Canada becomes a US state, they can’t be in our NATIONAL league.”

Canadian citizens are currently in an uproar. Canada’s Prime Minister Justin Trudeau met with Trump for negotiations two days ago.Trump was reportedly singing “Tariffs baby tariffs,” as he left the meeting.

The results have been released to the public that Canada will be considered the 51st honorary US State. It is rumored that in Edmonton, home of the Edmonton Oilers, a well known hockey team, Canadian citizens are walking the streets yelling “Drill baby drill.”

As part of the deal 20% of Canada’s maple syrup is required annually, Trump has already started setting up drilling platforms in Canada, tariffs are still under negotiation. 

Toronto has set up marching bands to sing ‘MAGA. My America, Make America Great Again, MAGA!” New MAGA hockey wear is hitting the market, and one citizen said, “It’s the best thing that ever happened to Canada.”

The Canadian national anthem “Ohhh Canada,” is being revised so that it is “Properly Patriotic,’ the suggested title is “Ohh Canada State of the USA.” 

And that’s the newest news from The Daily Jester Christmas Special. Because we’re always here to offer you fake news in real time.

Stay tuned for further updates, and comment below.





Comments

  1. Monkees4lyfeNovember 21, 2024 at 5:19 PM

    Kamala would never have done something like this. GO BLUE!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Daily Jester PublicationNovember 21, 2024 at 5:42 PM

      Blue is a wonderful color, but it is important to note that turning blue is a negative side effect of consuming colloidal silver, and thus it shouldn’t be something we aspire to.

      Delete
  2. JioJioNovember 22, 2024 at 8:29 PM

    RAAAAH AMERICA BABBYYY

    ReplyDelete

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