Northeast Penguins

 Louisiana declares state of emergency due to north-east penguins found diving off coast illegally. In response citizens of Louisiana are having their limbs amputated because of a recent executive order from governor Jeff Landry to help resolve the penguin emergency.

Jeff claims the order was to protect citizens in this dangerous time of emergency. Banning the possession of arms was simply the only way to ensure these north-east penguins would not harm the drilling outposts. When told penguins do not have arms, he stepped down from the podium he was speaking at and said: “No further questions.”

Citizens are told their arms are in stasis and will be returned once the threat is resolved. 

After four penguins were found dancing on an oil rig, the governor announced “The possession of feet will be restricted on all non-government parties until further notice.” To help keep Louisiana safe become an amputee today.

That’s fake news, from you know whom. Comment below.

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